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Family memberBorn in Buckhaven, Fife in 1941.
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Overview:
David met Patsy while working as a tea-planter in India and came to England after their marriage in 1966, to escape the prejudice they`d encountered because Patsy was Anglo Indian. He worked as a prison officer, then prison governor until retirement at 60. Patsy developed diabetes in 1985 and they managed well until she had a stroke in 1999 and needed full-time care. He doesn`t want respite care, because he wouldn`t enjoy holidays without her, but he would like the Carer`s Allowance that was stopped when he got his pension, because `people who care for people…save the country a fortune`.
Please note that Overview relates to date of recording Tuesday, June 10, 2008
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1 After Patsy was diagnosed with diabetes, David learnt to spot the signs of low blood sugars before she did and to take rapid action. [ 60 secs ] |  | 2 After Patsy had a stroke, he found that a continuous learning process began for them both. [ 61 secs ] | |
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| 01 Born Scotland. Left school at 14 – mines, Merchant Navy, tea planter in India. Met wife – Anglo-Indian. Returned to England, 1966. Prison officer 10 years, then prison governor. Retired at 60. Son born 1968, daughter 1970. | |
| | 02 Married 1966. She got diabetes 20 years later. Diabetes in her family, but GP didn’t believe it, until suggested by optician, 1985. Tachycardic attack – taken to Radcliffe. | |
| | 03 Decided to travel. Diet only. Up & down for 2 years, then tablets, until stroke in 1999 – 9 weeks in Radcliffe. | |
| 04 At first, diet. I did urine-testing. Tried to keep weight down – both thin when married – but she was depressed after failing to get teaching job. She worked in school her, 20 years, while I worked elsewhere.
Diabetes insidious. Started insulin after stroke.
Tried foods when travelling. Thought all OK, even after tablets. | |
| 05 `Creeping disease`. Her relatives badly affected. Should get checked.
I notice low blood sugars first. Needs whole meal to revive. | |
| | 06 I worked locally for 12 years – back in afternoons. I’ve always been in caring professions. | |
| | 07 Stroke 11th Jan 1999. Helped her dress & undress – realise this will be rest of life. I sort her tablets. Eye problems before stroke. Cataract op while in hospital for stroke – good. Later laser treatment caused sight loss. Wife says sue! | |
| | 08 Wife avoided woman who made mistake. Other surgeon attempted correction. I retired 2 years later. Harder as you get older – wheel chair heavy. | |
| | 09 She couldn’t return to work. Lived with daughter for 2 years, while I was away. Still learning. Cheshire Home on Weds – sees worse off – helps them. Avoid self-pity, plan holidays. | |
| | 10 Learn to dress her, tend feet, cut up food. Medicine side-effects. Father had strokes – hard for my mother. OK if it’s your wife. | |
| | 11 Had to learn to push wheelchair. Give each other space – go to gym – fit to push wheelchair – can’t get her up if she falls. Toilets difficult abroad – sometimes not allowed in ladies. Embarrassment. | |
| 12 We sometimes argue. Eyesight makes it hard to pour kettle or salt. I’ve just had 1st weekend away – daughter came.
Before stroke, managed diabetes well. Attribute stroke to diabetes. Diabetes creeps up. Children inject happily… | |
| 13 …Ill children laugh more than cry. I joke a lot. Nanny state annoys me more than wife’s stroke.
Lucky to be able to visit wife in hospital & rehabilitation – met people who arranged practical aids. | |
| | 14 Have to do everything in house & garden – takes time. Don’t want more respite care – wouldn’t enjoy going away without Patsy. | |
| | 15 Stopped Carer’s Allowance when got pension because can’t have 2 ‘benefits’, but pension not benefit – paid by taxes. Care Allowance needed more as get older. Carers save country money. | |
| 16 Enough money for war. Cost of living going up.
Good neighbours. I’ve just been away – neighbour drove me to bus. | |
| | 17 We’ll be fine, if wife doesn’t get worse. My father was worse. In future, euthanasia may help people. If something happened to me, wife would go into home. I may become diabetic. "I`m not going to let this get me down". | |
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